This is the life...

I really need to update my LJ in terms of pics and promoting, but I told myself time and time again to give up the online whore lifestyle. No need for everyone to be in my business. It sure does fuel the ego though. Anyway, life has been good for me. Obvi because God is good. He has been sooo good to me in terms to repairing my relationships with people, helping me be more patient and just loving me regardless.

I have a new attitude and outlook on a lot of things both physically and spiritually...

I realize that if I tithe and just believe that God has my back, He will. I don't have to do a million and one things to let God know that I love Him. He knows it already, I just need to show Him by my actions and decisions. And when in doubt, read a passage from the Bible and it will be solved.

I also want to dress up more classy. Not like ridic, but I just don't want to be a street/sneaker wearing girl. I am 22 years old now and I want to look like one. The fun part is going to be planning, coming up with looks and shopping on a budget. I think if I spend wisely, it'll make the clothes that more fun to wear.

I am going to the gym now. Not everyday or anything, but last week I went 2x. I want to be healthy. I know I won't be a size 0.. don't think it's physically possible considering the fact my birth weight was 13 pounds. HOWEVER, I do want to have a flatter belly and smaller thighs. The treadmill, bike and elliptical machines will be my new best friends once I get my confirmed gym membership.

I want to do a formal update, not for anybody else but myself. I will once I get myself a spiffy camera and the time to do so.

God is good and God bless!

My God.. my family.. my friends.. my life.

I am grateful that God has put up with me, I hope he recognizes the genuine love I have for Him in my heart. I have not been to church or read the Bible in a very long time, I am going to right now of course because it's on my mind. But I am just glad to have an understanding God who knows that I truly love and want to honor Him and all He's done for me.

I am super unfocused right now with life. I need to do some planning to figure out what to do with my life.

Today was pretty.. hm.

I didn't get much sleep because I stayed at Tyson's. I can never get a good sleep there because he snores, don't like the feeling of mattress and it's just not my room. I never feel 100% anywhere. Especially there. I don't think I'll ever feel like I did in my room. Aw, I miss my room, but I don't miss the nuttiness with my parents.

Went to work at 3. I thought  we were going to get commission, but unfortunately Friday was a bad day so we didn't. A lot of returns from different stores. Less money for me, but oh well. Went to Walmart and got extremely irritated with Tyson tryHoping to park my car. He knows that I have bad depth perception but he gets so snappy with me. He's not caring and nurturing and that's what I need in situations like that. And if he's not going to be that way, then move the dang car yourself, which he refuses to do because he cannot drive my car either.

I don't know what tomorrow will hold, I just hope I can sleep regular and not be woken up by snores of a mad man. It's extremely irritating and I've dealt with that with my Dad before, which is why I was able to shut my door. I need quiet or tv when I sleep, not snores.

I hope I don't spend too much money either. I bought some essentials from Walmart: food, drinks, toilet paper, tongue scraper. I am depleting my account and I won't be getting paid much from SGH so I need to quit. I really want a dresser though. I need to tithe! So many things! It was a mistake buying that dang tv.

I'm going to hopefully be able to Bible Blog in the morning. I know I haven't been in the way that I used to, but it's weird. I still haven't found my groove yet.

I've been rather busy lately and since I don't wake up early for tutoring anymore so my routine has been a little goofy. That doesn't excuse me not praying and blogging like I should though. I've been on bible.com a few times... They have daily scriptures to read which have been both motivating and inspiring.

Sometimes we do not recognize all that god has done for us. He works in our lives at a constant level that sometimes we don't even realize he's there. I want him to know that I am grateful for all that he's done. I'd be nowhere without him and even in the day to day simple tasks in life he's present for those as well.

Life is good right now. Of course I am always paranoid about things like relationships, money, car... But I am content with how my life is. I feel a sense of freedom since I've moved out. I don't do wild things, however having the option to do so makes life less stressful. My main goal for the month is to come up with a plan for work. Do I stay at soar? Or should I try to apply somewhere new?

At work right now and too many people are interrupting me!

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I am trying to maintain my cool and not get irritated right now. But I'm gassy and frustrated with Tyson. He comes over here, makes me buy him food and then has the nerve to use my computer the whole time.

It's not like I want to be bothered and attended to the whole day. He just sure knows how to irritate me without even trying. Does he even know what he's doing? Probably not. I know I need to calm down but I get so mad I just wanna explode. I know I know, stop it farin, be grateful for what you have. I can complain about him forever but it's not gonna change how I feel about him.

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( Tx )

Sometimes you just have to let a person go. Especially when they are physically, mentally and emotionally abusive. My brain won't let me deal with someone like this anymore. So I am throwing in the towel.

I haven't bible blogged, I tend to never do it on the weekends. Not sure why. It might be because I wake up later on the weekends. I have work in an hour so I'm just trying to get some studying down, pay some bills and watch Cars at the same time. Still looking for a place. Room shares are looking very likely. I know it's weird to stay with a random stranger but at least I know they'll be on time with the rent and I don't have a lotta of stuff worth value so they'll be stupid to steal from me LOL.

I hope my sister finds something not too far though. I plan on staying with Tyson throughout most of the week anyway. God bless all.

Sooo I am reading a passage today from Song of Solomon but I'm not gonna blog about it because I'm on my phone. Argh this sucks!

Me being cheap is what's stopping me from being on the computer! Rather than buy a charger from an actual store I bought it online with supposed 3 day shipping. At the latest it should be here by Tuesday... I hope!!

God bless and take care everyone!

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I am going to continue bible reading but just not the blogging because even I can't text all this. My computer charger is dead and I just ordered one on eBay to be shipped out today. I will be returning hopefully by mon. Or tues. I hope mon. Because I can't live without my computer for that long plus my classes are mostly online so that would screw me up.

Peace. Have a good weekend!

He's back...!!!! <3

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This has been one of the worse periods I've had in my life. I've had terrible back pain and cramps for the past few days. Motrin seems to do the trick. Too bad it took me until today to finally go buy some.

I went apartment hunting today. I became super nauseous so it didn't really go as planned. We're gonna try next week and see what happens. I think if we find a reasonably priced place then I can still go to Vegas and make it out of this house.

Everything is just so unsettling. I should have went to church to get some clarity.

I feel a cold coming on as well.

Everything is just.. too much right now. I can't wait for this month to be over because I know it's going to be a struggle.

So... life has been pretty interesting. I keep feeling a sense of urgency to get things finished but my procrastination is setting in as well. I am also working way too much. My time is always in work so when I get home, getting homework done seems almost impossible. I am going to try my hardest to budget everything so I can get it done.

Chapter: Hosea 1: Hosea's Unfaithful Wife

The Lord told Hosea to take a wife and children of whoredoms. They would depart from this land because too many whoredoms have occurred there. He had a son with a woman Gomer. The Lord used Hosea and Gomer's son as a way to cease the evil which was occuring in Israel. They had a daughter which the Lord used to take away the people in the house of Israel. The children were used to change the evils in Israel.

Change:

We need to recognize when Christ is trying to change things. We often wait until it's too late to see that there is an issue.

I am still sick! I was better on the weekend but, I guess being out a night got me more sick. I cannot wait to be over this. I am

I am alive. Been sick so I haven't posted like I should. I haven't even touched my Bible but, hopefully I will be well tomorrow or at least by next week. Been doing homework and hanging out with Tyson though. God bless everybody!

Chapter: Job 30: Job's Honour Turned into Contempt

Those who are younger than him have no respect for Job. When famine striked people went into the wilderness and searched for food. Rather than ask the Lord for help, Job considered these people fools because they stayed in the forrest. Job is not a liked man and people have put him in a path of destruction. People are constantly trying to hurt him and bring him down. "I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls." His family are those who are against him. However, he is better friends with birds likely because he is calm and quiet like they are.

Change:

Do not let the enemy or even friend bring you down. If someone else is doing bad, they likely want to vent to you about it. In turn that can put you in a good mood as well. I've been doing better about t

So my life has been pretty okay. I have been overwhelmed by homework life decisions. My parents had upset me so I took it out on my studies and neglected them. I have a research proposal due and I know that I didn't do the best I could.

-I passed my WST exam so I am done stressing about that. This was the only thing blocking me from graduation.. well besides taking the last of my classes.

-I registered for my last quarter. I'm taking 20 units which is a lot but, hopefully it won't be too stressful.

-I am getting better at staying at work. I also took on a couple more hours at SGH. I realized my debt is getting the best of me and although it is not growing, it's not decreasing either. Paying the minimums don't you get you anywhere so working more is going to help a lot.

-I am on the hunt for looking for a job that pays more and will be more career oriented.

-I am planning a trip to Hawaii (preferred) or Vegas as a graduation present to myself.

-I may move in with my sister, brother-in-law and adorable niece. We are looking at houses to rent. Of course, I wouldn't be there that much anyway since all I do is stay at Tyson's.

-I've had insomnia for the past few days. It's mainly because I'm stressed about school and moving out in June. Plus, my Dad has been getting off earlier at work so his voice makes me antsy/angry and I cannot sleep since him and my mom are constantly yapping.

-I realized I need to make more friends in real life. I don't have anyone to go out with when Tyson decides to ditch me for his friends.

-I've been neglecting church way too much. I hope to go tomorrow but, if not I'll try to catch it online.

That's about it. I haven't Bible Blogged. And I likely will tomorrow. I have to work tomorrow morning and I really don't want to! Blah! I didn't get a break at all this weekend.

I don't feel like being on my computer right now..

Chapter: psalm 140: David prays to be delivered from enemies

David wants to be kept away from those who are violent and for war. He prays and begs that God can hear him. David has been protected by Him in times of war and trouble. Those who are doing evil will be destroyed. The peole in righteousness will be with God and their enemies will not be able to touch them.

Change:
Don't be afraid to ask God for help and trust that He will always be there for me. Despite my lazy days like today.. I know that i'd be nothing if he were not here.

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Church went very well today. I made it in time to catch all of the sermon and it was great. I am not letting anything stop me this year. 2009 is MY year to prosper and I will do so. I am a little scared of my classes though. Once again I am taking 20 units with 4 of them being my Senior Research Seminar. I am going to come up with a proposal for my research and do all this crazy, adult smart stuff that I am clearly not ready to do! I know I can do it though but, it's just scary to see all of my classwork actually going to be put to use. It's funny how they make you write a proposal for your B.A. I know I need to practice writing formal documents, especially if I want to get into the Master's program. Then, I would need to write a thesis that's wild! Anyway. I am going to try to plan out everything to the best of my ability. My phone and notebook will be my best friend and my thoughts!

I go back to work tomorrow. I miss my kids. I forgot most of their names and I still didn't get my teacher a gift! He spent so much money on me I feel so trifling! So hopefully at lunch time I can give him a box of chocolates and a card. Alrighty. I am going to get ready for bed because tomorrow is sure to be an interesting day.

My prayers have been answered and I refuse to let my God down.

Merry Christmas, everyone!